I want to stick my p in your. b.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
