I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
