A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
