it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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