Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
