they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Randomize
