Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Randomize
