Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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