The brown eye won't let me do that either.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Randomize
