yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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