So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
