So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Randomize
