you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
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