I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
