That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
