Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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