Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
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