tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize