Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Help me help you realize you are a moron
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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