the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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