im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize
