I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
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