wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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