that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
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