Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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