so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
