You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
