we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
