I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize