apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Dick very happy bro
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
