I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Randomize
