I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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