a queef is a wish your heart makes.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Randomize
