she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Randomize
