you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
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she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
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We left the knife in your bed.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
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