it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Shame - the story of my life.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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