Is it normal to miss your booty call?
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
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