never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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