I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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