why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
