I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
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I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
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Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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