I CAN MOONWALK!
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
