So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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