That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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