from now on my penis is your penis
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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