Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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