...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize