I just made out with a guy for $7.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
