This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Randomize
