I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Randomize
