and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Randomize
