Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize