I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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