well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
