My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize