I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Ladies don't puke and tell
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
