She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
