Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
