he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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