How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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