You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
