Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
