She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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