Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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